Verschenen in yoga international magazine, mei 2019

The following talk by Jeru Kabbal was recorded live and is part of a Clarity Process training offered by the APT Institute.

Jeru: During the past few days, you have been getting acquainted with your four year old, this inner child that basically directs your life.  After meeting the four year old, the next step is learning how to live with the four year old.  This is what we would like to look at this morning.

It’s as if you take a new child into your house.  Let’s suppose that you adopt an orphan.  And when you adopt this orphan, you don’t know his background.  And you notice, of course, that this child has certain patterns, certain habits, certain fears, certain desires, and you may not know where they came from, but they obviously came from someplace.  It is also going to be obvious to you that this child is not going to be able to meet your expectations immediately, or to be what you want him to be immediately.

Let’s suppose also that this child has been in some way abused or hurt, and that something caused this child to contract in some way – maybe not totally – but in some aspects.  So you start noticing those aspects that are contracted or afraid.  You may say to the child, “It’s okay now, you don’t have to be afraid of such-and-such.  You are staying with me now.”  And the child will hear what you are saying, but may not be able to let it in.  If this child has been in a place where it is not okay to go to the fridge, and you recognize that the child would like to do that but  is afraid to, and you say, “It’s okay here to go to the fridge if you want to,” this child may not be able to do that immediately, because of past conditioning.

What you learn to do is to be very patient with this child.  You learn to try to see the world through the eyes of this child, not trying to push the child around, not trying to dominate the child, but rather trying to go into the inner core of this child, to understand this child, and then re-educate this child from his or her inner core, and not just because you want the child to be a certain way.  Because if you push this child too much, the child will contract even more.  Even if you are trying to push the child into being happy, into being free, into being creative, into being open, this can cause the child to contract, because of past experience and past conditioning.

Remember that the way to be with your four-year-old is not to be arrogant, not to be pushy, but to be understanding.  Do what you can do to open the doors so that the four-year-old wants to come out of them.  But don’t pound on the door and say, “Come out!  Come out!  I want you to be free!”  It won’t work.  A lot of people, when they are doing these processes, start talking to their four-year-old the way their parents talked to them.  At first perhaps rather lovingly and gently, and then if that doesn’t work, a bit condescendingly, and when that doesn’t work, getting firm, and when that doesn’t work, getting angry.  That is not the way to do it.  It didn’t work with you, and it won’t work with your four-year-old.  The thing to do is listen, listen, always listen.  Allow your four-year-old to express itself.

The four-year-old is dreaming.  But just because the four year old is dreaming, doesn’t mean you should say to the four year old, “Shut up.  You are just dreaming.”  You say, “Tell me what you think is happening.”  And then listen, all the way to the end.  When you do this, you will see for yourself that what the four year old thinks is happening is not happening – because it is memory, it is a projection.  And when you see that it is not happening, then you will also see that the four year old is actually dreaming.

The way to help the four year old come out of the dream is not to say, “It’s just a dream,” but to ask the four year old to compare what it thinks is happening with what is really happening.  This takes some time.  Sometimes it is very easy, and sometimes it is a little more difficult.  But you want to find out what the four year old thinks is happening.  Then you will see that the four year old is having some kind of nightmare, and then you do whatever you need to do to help your four year old come out of the nightmare.

Let’s just suppose that you have a three-year-old.  And in the middle of the night the three-year-old comes into your bedroom, and is crying and frightened, and says, “There’s a dragon under my bed.”  Now the first thing that you think about, of course, is that he has had a nightmare.  But if you say to this child, “You just had a bad dream.  There are no such things as dragons.  Go back to bed.”  Then you are going to scare the child.  He is not going to be able to go back to bed.  If he does, he is going to be in panic all night long.  It’s not very loving to do that.

But you also want to help this child to come out of this idea, come away from this idea that there is a dragon under the bed.  So you use whatever you might use with a three-year-old.  You might say, “Oh, a dragon.  That is really something.  What color is it?  Oh, a green one.  How big is it?”  And you keep talking about it, and you keep listening.  And you say, “Okay, you stay here, and I am going to go look at it.  I haven’t seen a green dragon in a long time.  And anyway, I know how to get rid of green dragons.”  So you go and look, and say, “Oh, yes, a green dragon.  But I know how to get rid of him.  I’ll just say these four words, and then look, he is gone.”  And you let the child look, and the dragon is gone.

Maybe you will find some other way to do this.  But you don’t say, “Come on, silly, there are no such things as dragons, especially green ones.”  You let the child know that you are willing to listen.  And at the same time that you are listening to the child tell about the dragon, you don’t get caught up in it.  This is very important.  While you are listening to the child talk about the dragon, you don’t start believing in the dragon, otherwise you are no help.

You want to listen so that it all comes out.  The more you listen, the easier it is for you to see that it is all a dream.  When you talk to the four-year-old, you say, “How are you feeling?”  And he says, “I am angry.  I am angry at so-and-so.”  You might think that is the end of it, but keep listening, and keep asking questions.  “So you are angry at so-and-so.  Why are you angry?  What are you angry about?  How does that make you feel?”

Then the next level of questions which are the most important are, “What does that remind you of?  Does that remind you of something from your childhood?  How were you feeling then?”  Because if your anger is being caused by a memory, then you don’t know what the cause of it is until you go into the memory.  You can’t say, “My girlfriend makes me angry.”  If that anger is coming from a memory, then it is not the girlfriend that is making you angry.  You have to listen to the four-year-old, keep asking questions, and keep listening.

But as you listen, you stay in touch with reality, you stay in touch with the here and now, you stay in touch with the moment.  And you recognize that what the four-year-old is telling you is not happening now.  It is a memory already.  Or maybe a memory for years and years.  Always try to see the difference between memory and reality.  This is what we are trying to share with you.  This is the first big step.  See the difference between reality and memory.

You divide the work up tremendously when you do that.  Because you deal with reality one way, and you deal with fantasy or memory in another way.  So the first thing, before you start adjusting your life, before you start solving your problems, you see what is memory and what is reality.  See what is the past, and see what is the present.

This is what you want to do in your conversations with your four-year-old.  Let the four-year-old represent memory.  It does anyway.  Let the four-year-old represent conditioning, represent the past.  Let the adult that you are be the adult body, in the here and now, with all of your capabilities, all of your strengths, all of your ability to take care of yourself.  And see in the moment that your survival is not in danger.

Remember that the four-year-old thinks that his survival is in danger, or that the danger is just around the corner.  Maybe momentarily it is okay, but how about tomorrow?

You can almost always be certain of these two things being true.  That the adult, the real you, will not be in danger.  It is very, very rare that an adult is in danger.  But the four-year-old is always going to feel in danger.  So you have these two givens that you can start with.  You always have to be careful, realizing that the four-year-old thinks that he is in danger.  You will become schizophrenic.  As a matter of fact you already are schizophrenic, and it is best to admit it.  And once you admit it, you can use it in a very positive way.

You have this child inside of you that feels weak, and helpless, and vulnerable, and feels that he is dependent and won’t survive unless the other takes care of him.  And at the same time, you have your real being, your physical body which is strong, capable, and adequate, able to take care of itself, able to interact with other people.  And these are two totally different things, two totally different kinds of people.  And yet, up until now, these two have been all mixed up together.  One moment you feel like an infant, the next moment you feel like a three-year-old, the next moment you feel like a ten-year-old, the next moment you feel like a thirty-three-year old, and it goes up and down until you don’t really know who you are.

Separate these two aspects of yourself.  The four year old with all of its experiences – your core personality plus its experiences on the one hand – and the here and now on the other.  Try to keep those two as separate as you can.  Then be in the here and now as the adult.  You want to re-educate this child.  You want to say to this child, “Look, regardless of what you have learned in the past, regardless of what you have been through, regardless of what fears you have experienced, and what desires you have created, regardless of what strategies you felt you had to practice in order to stay alive, I want you to know now that you live with me, I want you to know that you are safe.  I want you to know now that there is someone with you twenty-four hours a day.  And I can take care of you better than anyone else in the world.  I am big and strong, I can earn a living, I can fix lunch, I can take care of us.”  This is what the adult is saying.  And you are re-educating the child.

But in the meantime let’s shift our analogies for a moment from the four year old to the computer.  The four year old, as you recall, is the programs in the bio-computer.  But we can teach the bio-computer that it is not a four year old any longer, that it is not a helpless infant any longer.  We can teach the bio-computer to be in the here and now.  We can teach the bio-computer that it is now in the body of a full-grown adult.

In dealing with the bio-computer, or the four-year-old, you want to be sure that you don’t deal with it in such a way that you activate defensive programs.  You want to deal with it in such a way that the computer does not shut down, so that it doesn’t say, “This is too much for me,” or “I decided never to do that.” You have to be very, very patient and understanding, and that means that you have to understand where the four-year-old is coming from, you have to understand the programs that are in the bio-computer.

So it’s a matter of going into the computer.  In some places you can go rather openly, and in some places you have to go very gently.  Just like in a normal computer, there are some switches that are very big, and easy to manipulate, and there are some things that have little, tiny wires, and you just have to go in there very slowly and gently to get the right one.  But you have to adjust yourself to the bio-computer, you have to influence the bio-computer.  This is the way you change it – you influence it, you convince it, you don’t dominate it, you don’t force it.  You cannot force this computer the size of Texas and a hundred stories high – it just doesn’t work.  But you can influence it.  You can re-educate it, you can teach it.

In changing a program or a pattern, you have to find out what works.  You have to find out why the computer believes that this particular defense mechanism is important, and help it to see that those old dangers, or whatever was there originally, are not there now, and that it is okay to let go of them.  You can’t just say to your four-year-old, “I command you, drop your armor.”  But if you can take a little more gentle approach, “Oh, that is a nice suit of armor you have there.  Where did you get that?  You have been carrying it a long time, haven’t you?  What are you wearing it for?  Oh, it protects you from dragons – green dragons.  Have you seen any lately?”  And you keep talking about the need for the armor, and comparing it to reality.  Is that armor still needed?  What do you think the chances are of seeing another green dragon?  And you just keep talking, until the four year old becomes aware that the armor is heavy, and maybe not needed.  It doesn’t mean that it wasn’t needed originally, but maybe it isn’t needed now.

In the winter time, if you put on a heavy overcoat to protect you from the cold, that’s great.  But suppose you work for a company that moves you to the middle of the Sahara Desert.  You must have done something good.  But it’s the middle of the winter, and you are still wearing your overcoat.  You are going to get very uncomfortable, and you are going to look around and see that you don’t need the overcoat anymore.  And no one is going to have to convince you to take the overcoat off.  It’s a drag.  And once you see that you don’t need it, you take it off.  But as long as you think you need it, you are going to keep it on.

And that is the way it is with our psychological armor, our psychological defense system.  As long as the computer thinks we need it, we have to have it.  So the thing to do is not to try to convince the four year old or the biocomputer to get rid of armor which it thinks it needs, but rather, help it to see that it doesn’t need that armor any longer.  Then it is willing to let go of it, and it wants to let go of it.

But you can’t pull the armor off.  There are a lot of therapies, especially some groups, that try to pull people’s armor off.  Sometimes it works.  But as soon as the group is over, the person says, “I am never going to let that happen again.”  And they put the armor back on, and they screw on the screws a little more tightly.

Once in a great while, if it is done very carefully, you can pull the armor off, and the person sees that it is okay.  But it usually doesn’t work that way, because people who want to pull your armor off, they usually don’t do it gently.  They just want you to look at your trips and admit that you are this way.  And that is very threatening.

Remember that your attitude toward the four-year-old is one of understanding that what the four-year-old has created is a defense system.  It believes that it needs that defense system because there was a time when it actually did need it.  Now it no longer needs the defense system, but it doesn’t know that yet.  And that is your job.

You need to help the bio-computer understand that it is not being threatened the way it was when you were an infant, that your life is not in danger the way it was when you were born, that you don’t need the strategies that you developed as a young child.  But you have to go into the computer and convince the computer of that.  And once you learn the knack of that, it goes quite quickly.  But as long as you hammer on the armor and demand that the four year old let go of the armor and let go of the defense system, you will find that you don’t make much progress.

That is what a lot of people do.  They are trying to force themselves to change, and it doesn’t really work.  When you can convince the biocomputer that you don’t need the old programs, they start falling away.  And we have techniques to speed that process up.  But even without those techniques, the falling away will happen, because the intelligence is there to see that if you don’t need it, and that it is okay to let go of it.

Therefore, listening to your four-year-old is the important thing.  It is the way to find out what is going on.  It is the way to find out why the armor has been put there in the first place, why these strategies were needed in the first place, why these attitudes developed in the first place.  When you can get to the core of things, and then help your four- year-old to compare these memories to the reality of the here and now, your four-year-old will also see that the old memories are not relevant, that they are not real, they are not true.

Our work consists of bringing things up from the bio-computer in the subconscious, bringing things up to the surface so that we can see them, comparing those things to the here and now, so that we can see that the memories are false, and that the here and now is real.  We keep doing that, bringing things up to the surface and comparing them to the here and now, and seeing what is real, letting go of the unreal.  That is all. This is the way to clear out.  Not being afraid to let these things come up, and as a matter of fact, encouraging them to come up, and comparing them always to the here and now.

A lot of people do one or the other.  A lot of people will get into regression work, but they don’t compare that to the here and now.  They don’t compare what comes up to the here and now.  So they live in their nightmare, thinking it is real, and thinking that they are working on themselves, but they are just torturing themselves.  They are just creating more nightmares.

There are a lot of therapies that do this.  They work with the dream, but they don’t work with reality.  They will tell you that your problems are real, but your problems are not real.  They keep the problems alive by telling you that they are real.  There are other disciplines or approaches that try to get you in the here and now, but they don’t deal with the green dragon at the subconscious level.  So it doesn’t work.  The green dragon keeps breaking through.

But if you will do both of these things, if you will bring the stuff up from the subconscious, expose it to the sunlight, compare it to the here and now, then it dissolves.  And when it dissolves, it leaves space for something else to come up.  This is the process, repeating one thing after the other.  Letting old stuff come up, exposing it to the here and now, and letting it dissolve.  Pretty soon, you start getting lighter and lighter, because you are not carrying these old fears.  And as you get lighter, it gets easier and easier to actually be in the here and now, to be in the moment.  You become more relaxed, your energy is more flowing, your aura actually expands.  You are more intuitive, more present, and more alive.  The more you clean up the past, the more you will be in the present.

You don’t have to work at being in the present, but it does require awareness.  Either of these, if you do them separately, won’t really help you that much.  You have to do both.  Bring it up, and compare it to the here and now.  For example, in the intuitive dialogue, that is what we do.  We let the four-year-old express itself, bring it up, and as we are being the adult, we compare it to the here and now.

In the intuitive dialogue, when you are being the adult, the idea is not to be the parent, and say, “Look, how many times have I told you that you are not weak and helpless anymore?” and “How many times do I have to tell you that you can trust me?”  It doesn’t work like that.  Don’t talk to your four-year-old the way your mother talked to you.  Listen.  Listening is like a vacuum that needs to be filled.  You listen, and the four-year-old starts talking to you.  And it’s all this stuff from the subconscious that will start coming up.  When I say listen, I mean allow space for emotions, for fears, for desires, or whatever is there, provide space for it.  You provide the space, and the four-year-old will fill that space with his old stuff.  And then you compare it to the here and now.  Comparison will help dissolve it.

It does take patience.  This process of re-educating your four-year-old is re-educating your bio-computer.  The bio-computer has the programs put there by your four-year-old, which say, “I am helpless.  I am weak.  I am inadequate.”  Now you want to tell the bio-computer, “Hey, that is not true any longer.  You are now in a body that is big and strong.”  You want to re-educate.  Remember that the process of re-education is the same as the process of re-learning.  Actually what we are aiming for is unlearning.  We want to unlearn these old patterns, unlearn these old attitudes.

The process of unlearning is basically the same as the process of learning, and one important thing about learning is repetition.  There are different ways that we can learn.  One is that we can learn from a very strong experience, like when you put your hand on a hot stove, you usually don’t repeat it.  You can learn from authority.  If your mother, Mrs. God, says, “Don’t put your hand on the stove because it will burn,” and if you accept her as an authority, you don’t put your hand on the stove.  You have learned that it is hot.  And the other way is through repetition.  We learn through repetition.

Most of our learning is through repetition, especially as adults.  We repeat, repeat, and repeat, until we can do it.  Whether we are learning to type, learning to drive a car, or learning to brush our teeth, or learning to tie our shoes, it is repetition that solidifies that learning process.  So the unlearning process is the same way.  To unlearn these old habits requires repetition.  So be patient with your four-year-old.  Understand that it is going to take repetition, going over the same things again, and again, and again.  Just like being with this child that comes to live with you. “It’s okay for you to go to the fridge, you don’t have to be afraid,” or “It’s okay for you to do this, I am not going to punish you.”  You have to repeat, repeat, repeat.  So give yourself time for that.  Understand that it is necessary.  You can be patient.

And always be respectful and grateful to your four-year-old.  If you are using the pendulum, ask your four-year-old as the first question, “To what degree are you willing to talk with me right now?”  Don’t just assume that you can barge in there and ask your questions.  Be respectful.  You will get a lot more cooperation.  Once the child realizes that you are not going to be pushing him around, and that you can become friends, you will get results.  And that is what you want, you want to be friends.

But go from the space of understanding, go from the space of respect.  You respect the child that you used to be.  It’s not that you respect the movie, it’s not that you respect the nightmare, it’s not that you respect the dream.  But you have to respect this bio-computer, because it is just too big to push around.  So if this huge computer says, “I am afraid of brass buttons,” you say, “Oh, that is interesting.  Will you tell me more about it?  How big are the brass buttons that you are afraid of?  When did you first become afraid of them?”  Go into it, instead of just saying, “Oh, that is stupid.”

It’s the attitude that is important in this work.  And a lot of this will depend on what you experienced during your first four years.  You might have experienced that it was not safe to trust, so you have programs in the biocomputer that say, “Don’t trust.”  Today you are trying to do something, and those programs will still be there.  And you will have to deal with them.

There might be another person who is full of programs that say it is okay to trust.  And that person will be totally different.  But you have to deal with the programs that you have in your bio-computer, remembering that when you put them there, they made good sense. And today, now that you are not helpless and dependent any longer, they may not make any sense.  They may be detrimental to you.  But that is what you have to decide, once they come up to the surface.

Let this relationship with your four-year-old be a friendship.  First it is going to be a relationship with a frightened child, a child who has created armor, a child who has created strategies, a child who has certain attitudes about life, a child that was born totally helpless.  These programs are now in the computer, and what you want to do is help the computer see that these old programs are not relevant any longer.  And in that process, you are going to change this bio-computer the size of Texas from being full of programs of being a helpless infant, to having the programs of being a strong and capable adult who will be a friend.  And believe me, once you have turned that computer around, you are going to have a real friend.  And then miracles are possible.

Question:  “Twice now, in the final stages of a transformation, I have had the experience that how I was describing the event and the transformation was the way that it actually had been on some level, and that it had really been something really wonderful, and I am wondering if that would seem to be significant information, if that can be considered real in the sense of being an adult in the here and now.”

Jeru:  Let me see if I understood you.  You have had an experience which you would call a positive experience, as you are remembering.  And you are asking, what relevancy does that have now?  Is that it?

Question:  “Even though I had been beaten up, when I transformed the beating up session, I saw it on a different level, in a different way, so that it was better than just getting beaten up.”

Jeru:  Well, the main thing is, whatever it was, it was a memory.  That is really the main thing we are trying to share with you.  Whatever it was, it isn’t now, and it is okay to let go of it.  And we do the transformation technique because it makes it easier to let go of those things.  That is the purpose of it.  We transform the negative energy into positive, and that is easier to let go of than the negative.  Because the negative causes us to contract, and the positive causes us to relax.  So that is why we do this, so that we can let go of it.

And of course, with the transformation technique, when you do the positive side of things, very often you see aspects of the original experience that you hadn’t seen before.  That is another one of the advantages of that.  But again, it is not that we are trying to analyze the past, but to let go of it.  And we do what we can to bring the memories up, to make it easier to let go of them.  It is not so necessary to understand them, or analyze them, or whatever.  So I would just keep looking at it.  I wouldn’t give too much significance to any single thing, but just keep plugging away, one step after the other.  The only thing that is real is the here and now.

Question:  “When something happens in the moment, something practical, like it happened to me last night that all of a sudden I felt angry because something happened, and I had a reason to be angry.  How do I deal with that, in order to get back to being with myself?”

Jeru:  This is a problem that everyone has – what to do when something makes you angry.  Well, nothing makes you angry.  You make yourself angry.  You always have a choice whether to be angry or not.  And there are some things that are more difficult, but still you have a choice.  But as long as you think that it is something else that makes you angry, you are never going to make the attempt to take responsibility for that.

Question:  “What I mean is, I see something, and I get angry.  And so what do I do with this anger?”

Jeru:  Well, the first thing to do is to watch your language.  You said, “Something made me angry.”  That is a totally different story than saying, “I made myself angry.”  If you say, “I made myself angry,” okay, that is where you start to look at things.  That is where the cause is.  So why do you make yourself angry, that is the question.  The answer usually is that whatever has happened is reminding you of a memory, or activating a memory of a time when you were helpless and dependent, and frustrated.

If you will start seeing that, you will get angry less often, and when you are angry, you will get over it more quickly.  Because you will see that what you are doing is you are re-running an old movie.  Find out how old you are in the movie, and deal with the movie as a movie.  Intuitive dialogue is a way, and we will be showing you other ways later on.

But if something happens, and you see that, and you sort of push a certain button inside of yourself, it activates a certain movie.  The movie is a memory of a much earlier time.  And a key element of that movie will be your helplessness, your dependency, and your frustration about it.  That is why you get angry.  But deal with it as a memory, because that is what it is.  And we will be learning to do that.

Question:  “My experience yesterday from doing the rebirthing was that when you activate this computer, basically almost all thinking comes from this fear space.  I can’t actually see any thought that happens in myself that doesn’t root itself in fear.  And what you are saying is, that as the adult, when you are looking at the computer, you are saying, “Okay, this is the present, and there is no reason to fear,” and basically you are just de-activating the defense system.  But the awareness, when you are saying, “Be present,” that is not even conditioned in any way, that is even separate from the adult.  It’s not anything.  So the watcher is just the awareness, just learning about this defense system, so it doesn’t go off in all situations.”

Jeru:  Yes, you said it beautifully.  The important thing is to see that all of your thoughts are coming from this fear space.  If you don’t see it now, don’t be upset.  But you will experience it, that is the case, that all of your thoughts are coming from fear.  And the fear space is coming because you felt helpless.  Now that you are no longer helpless, by any means, you also don’t need this fear space, and all of the strategies and defense mechanisms that you have created because of it.

Question:  “Yesterday I had the experience that someone shouted at me, and I had immediately this impulse to shout back, because I know from experience that I get rid of this tension, and I am feeling strong, and that I got back at her, and this will teach her a lesson, and this kind of feeling.  And then I didn’t do it, and I felt in that moment like this energy was still in me, because I am much more used to giving back, to actually venting myself if I am feeling weak and helpless.  It’s like in society, or if you see these Italian movies, it’s really great, they have these big scenes, and then they hug again and everything is great.  And then you think that this is the way it is supposed to be done.  And if you just don’t react, then it is somehow strange, it is not natural.  And so I have this whole thing happening.”

Jeru:  Well, two things are probably happening there, and both of them are memories.  One was a memory of wanting to strike back, and the other was a memory of telling yourself that it’s not okay to do that.  The key is the fact that something made you angry.  How did you make yourself angry?  Why did you choose to be angry?  That is the key question – not what you did about it, but what created it.  And it is a memory that created it.  That is what you have to see.  The fact that someone is saying something to you in a loud voice is no reason to get upset.  It’s just someone saying something to you in a loud voice, that’s all.  The fact that you choose to take that and activate an old memory with it, and in that old memory you are weak and helpless, and defenseless, that is another issue.

But that is what actually happens.  You set off a certain movie, an old movie of anger, of frustration, of helplessness, and you lived in it.  But instead of fighting back the way you usually do, you didn’t say anything, and then became frustrated by that.  But either of those two things are not really the best way to do it.  The best way to do it is to see that you are creating a nightmare inside yourself, that is the first thing, that you are creating the nightmare.  And then of course what you do about it is another story, but first see that you are creating the nightmare, that you are the one making yourself angry.

See that you have a choice not to do that – and that is not repression.  It is not like being angry and then saying, “Oh, I shouldn’t be angry.”  That is repression.  What it really means is to look at it, at what is actually happening.  What is actually happening if someone shouts at you?  What is actually happening?  You hear sounds, you see a distorted face, there is some air being moved in your direction.  So what?  Suppose that you are an acting coach, and you are trying to teach someone how to be angry.  And you have been practicing, and finally it happens, they get it.  You hear a loud noise, you see a distorted face, there is air being moved in your direction, and you don’t feel threatened, you feel happy.  So what is the difference?

Question:  “I think it’s about the intention coming from that person.  I think it’s about refusing to accept the content of that intention.”

Jeru:  Be as realistic as you can.  That is the point.  Is your life being threatened just because someone is raising their voice?  Do you need to feel weak, and helpless, and frustrated, just because someone is raising their voice?  Do you need to regress just because someone else is regressed?  That is the point.

Question: “But when you are angry, you can’t see it, because you are living in it.”

Jeru:  Yes, but it is your responsibility to see why you are creating your own anger.  Where is the anger coming from?  Is it coming from what the other person is doing, or is it coming from you?  If you think that it is coming from the other person, then of course you are just a helpless victim.  But if you can see that the anger is coming from you, then you can change it.  You can do something about it.

Question:  “I am in the same situation.  I am in a beautiful space, no problems, and then someone comes and slaps me.”

Jeru:  Okay, fine.  So what happened there?  You feel an impact.  But has your life been threatened?  That is the thing to do.  Be realistic about it.  Maybe you are in danger.  And if you are in danger, then fine, respond accordingly.  But the question is, are you in danger?  Is your life threatened?  Do you need to respond to that situation like a helpless, frustrated infant, or like a strong and capable adult?  That is the question.  That is what we are trying to see.

Question:  “I think that it is really important to respect what your four-year-old is saying in that situation, and not push it away.  I have had the thought also that you don’t want to live as a slave to your four-year-old, and always do only what he wants you to do.  I am wondering about the idea of discipline.  Because an example in my own life is that I do martial arts, and there are some times when my kid just doesn’t want to go to class, and there are situations when my adult wants something, and my four-year-old doesn’t want to.”

Jeru:  That is a very good question.  There will be times when you feel like there is a limit.  And you have to use that with tender loving care.  And very often, there will be certain things that if you talk to the four-year-old, he will concede.  If you say, “Look, I know we feel this way sometimes, and we don’t really want to go.  But haven’t you noticed that every time we go, we feel better?”  Get the four-year-old to say, “Yes, that is true.  We do feel better.”  In other words, talk to your four-year-old about it.  Hear why he doesn’t want to go.  Maybe he has a reason.  It has nothing to do with that.  You are not to become a slave to your four- year-old.  But you will learn that by being open to your four year old, he will become a lot more cooperative than when you are trying to push him around.  That is really the main point.

The following talk by Jeru Kabbal was recorded live and is part of a Clarity Process training offered by the APT Institute.

Toward pleasure, away from pain

We probably feel like we have many, many different motivations. But the reality is that we are either moving toward pleasure, or away from pain. Those two motivations are a continuum, they are not separate. If you look at your behavior, it’s either one or the other, either an attempt to move toward pleasure, or an attempt to move away from pain. That which we call moving toward pleasure, we would call desire. For example, you promise yourself that if your desire is fulfilled, you are going to have more pleasure, be more safe, be more secure, or whatever it brings. So let’s take a look at desires, since a good part of our energy goes into them.

If you don’t get it – you die

The other night you wrote out some desires. You were asked what you need in order to be happy. That would be a desire. If you ask yourself a question, “What do I want,” then the answer to that is a desire. First let’s just differentiate between desires and needs.

A need, by definition, is something which if you don’t get it, you die. It doesn’t mean you have to die right away, but sooner or later, if you don’t get it, you will die, because you need it.

What are some examples of things that we need? Oxygen, water, food, sleep – these are examples of things we need. So when we want those things, those are not desires. Those are needs. If we don’t get them, we die. We want to make this distinction in the beginning, even though we will probably go into this more deeply later on.

We are not talking about needs. We are not talking about what you need in order to sustain the body. We are talking about desires, which is more or less a mental trip, actually rising out of the fact that we were once helpless. Because we couldn’t fulfill our needs when we were children, when we were infants, we had thoughts about those needs – for example, “I want mommy to do this.” The need to have our needs fulfilled led very quickly to desires, which are head trips about our needs.

Desires cannot be fulfilled

One thing that we want to notice about desires is that they can’t be fulfilled. Once you get that, then obviously you are going to stop wasting a lot of your time. Desires cannot be fulfilled.

Let me explain that. You may have the desire for a new winter coat. And you can buy the winter coat. So you could say your desire has been fulfilled. But the desire as such, the abstract thing called desire, is still there. Then you get used to your winter coat, it takes about a week, and then that energy is focused on something else: “Maybe I need a new hat. I need some new boots to go with my new coat.” You can get the coat, but desire will still be there. And, if you notice, you have done that all your life. You have fulfilled desires – it looks like it, at least – only to still have desires. You are still not complete, you are still not satisfied. It’s not that when you get the coat, you think, “Ah, now I’m satisfied,” and you wait until it wears out and then you get another one… No. It’s a week later, or maybe three days later, and you still have desires. You are still frustrated.

One of the reasons you can’t fulfill the desire is because the desire is on a different plane than reality. It’s coming from a fantasy world. And it’s coming from the child that you used to be – even if you don’t see that clearly now.

Let’s say you want to buy a new coat. There’s always a desire previous to that. What might be the desire that fits into this desire for a winter coat? To be warm is one thing, but suppose you already have three coats in your closet. You want one that’s in fashion. What’s the desire behind that one? You want to be presentable, you want to be attractive, you want to be acceptable. And why would you want to be acceptable? So that people will like you. And why do you want them to like you? So that there will be someone there to take care of you. You think you want a coat, but what you really want is for someone to be there to take care of you. You feel first that you have to impress them with the fact that you are fashionable, and beautiful, and so forth. This goes on and on, and everything you do basically has the same motivation.

You are doing it because you feel like your survival depends on other people. That might surprise you, but take any desire, trace it back, and you will find that this is at the heart of it.

Of course, the person who has this thought, this desire, is the child that you used to be. And how can you satisfy the child that you used to be? That child isn’t there, in reality. Do you get that dilemma? It’s just an endless tape of desire. It has nothing to do with reality at all.

The dial says empty

Suppose you have this big kettle that you can put water in, and it has a gauge on the side that says full, medium, empty, etc. The gauge is broken. It says empty. So you put water in the kettle and the water level goes up and up, but all you can judge the water level by is the gauge. So the kettle can be full of water and running over, and the gauge still says ‘empty’. That’s the way it is with desires.. The tape still says I need, I must have. A desire cannot be fulfilled. You can buy the coat, but that doesn’t mean you are taken care of.

A desire of today is preceded by an older, unfulfilled desire. For example, “I want this new coat because it’s fashionable and I’ll look good in it.” The desire that precedes that might be, “I want to be attractive.” And the desire that precedes that is, “I want to be noticed.” Before that, it could be, “I want someone there to take care of me.” You can trace any desire like this, all the way back to a concern you had as an infant about survival.

Desire is fear

Another thing about desires is that a desire is actually the same thing as a fear. It sounds pretty cool to talk about desires, but it is less cool to talk about fears. Yet you will find that behind every desire, or part of every desire, is fear.

Let’s say you want to be attractive. What’s the fear? Fear of not being attractive, fear of not being accepted – whatever it might be. But there’s a fear there. It’s just that, “I want to be attractive” sounds somehow more positive.

“I want to be wealthy.” Where is the fear in that? It could be lots of things – fear of being poor, fear of not having any influence, fear of being pushed around, or whatever. When you have a desire, you will find that there is always a fear that is a part of that. If you can start to see that, you can conserve a lot of energy, because you are going to stop doing useless things, things that don’t particularly serve you. That doesn’t mean that you don’t buy a new winter coat every winter, but you don’t make it so important.

I’m sure you have all experienced something similar, where you are invited to a party, or you are going to a business interview, or something like that. You have already decided what you are going to wear, and you have that all figured out. Finally you need to go to the cleaners to pick up whatever it is you are going to wear. You get to the cleaners, and you find that they made a big black ink spot right in the middle of your shirt that you were going to wear. And you freak out. It’s as if the world is about to collapse. Because in your subconscious mind, you have equated looking good with survival. If this spot on your shirt keeps you from looking good, then it keeps you from making the right impression on this person, and keeps them from liking you, or whatever.

We can make a crisis out of something like that. Of course it’s not really a crisis. If we were in the now, it would just mean that there’s a spot on the shirt, that’s all. But because all of our desires are ultimately tied up with our concern about survival, then anything that goes wrong causes us to panic.

Take a desire and trace it back

Therefore I would like for us to trace some desires back in time. It is important that you can start getting a feeling for what I’ve just said. You need to be open to doing this mentally. Whenever you want something, ask yourself, “What was that based on?” What previous desire is that based on, that hasn’t been fulfilled? You can fill up your entire life with just a few desires.

For example, suppose that when you were twelve you decided, “I want to be a doctor, because I think my mother would be proud of me.” Because of this, at the age of twelve you start thinking about being a doctor, and when you get to the right age for that, your life is totally consumed with this one desire – the books that you buy, the pencils that you sharpen, the homework that you do – it’s all part of this push to be a doctor.

Sometimes we do have just a few desires that are completely dominating our whole life. For example the desire to please your father, or your mother. And it can branch out into hundreds or thousands of other desires.

The trap door game

Step 1

Now I would like for you to take a desire and trace it back. The first step in what we call the trap door game is to specify your desire. You want to be clear about the desire. Very often, what we do when we talk about desires, is that we are too abstract, and it doesn’t help us very much. So we want to pin it down. For example, if you were to say, “I want to be wealthy,” what does that mean? That’s totally abstract. It doesn’t say anything, really. If you are an Indian beggar, being wealthy is having five dollars in your pocket. If you already have five million and you say that you want to be wealthy, then obviously you want more than five million. You’re headed for fifty million. So be clear about what your desire is. If you say I want love, what does that mean to you? If you want security, what does that mean? These are all abstractions. Let them be as specific as you can.

What we are suggesting is that you take the attitude that you are ordering this desire from a mail order catalogue. And you are going to get what you order. So if you only say winter clothing, chances are they will send your money back. Because they don’t know what you want. They need to know which piece of clothing, and what size, what color, etc. So you want to be as clear and specific as you can, and very often, this is the hardest part of the whole thing, the very first step.

Step 2

The second step is to remember. Remember when you had this desire, or a similar desire. If you want to buy this new coat, remember the first time that you had a desire for a piece of clothing that you thought would make you look nice. Maybe you jump back to the year you graduated from junior high school, or maybe you will go all the way back to your first day of school, but you go back in time, to a time when you had this desire or a similar desire. Then you notice and share with your partner how old you are, and what’s happening in this memory that you are having. How do you feel in the memory? Be open to the first time that you can remember having this desire.

First you want to define it. For example, when was the first time you can remember having the desire for perfect health? It doesn’t mean this was in your childhood, maybe it was just two weeks ago. But when was the first time that you can remember? Then what you do is you go back. How old were you? You go back to being thirty four, in graduate school, in a hospital, and you are wishing for perfect health.

Step 3

Then step three comes along, creating the fantasy movie. Magically there appears to you in the hospital room a fairy godmother. And she says, “I’ve heard your desire for perfect health, and I’m granting you not only perfect health, but super-perfect health. Then you get out of bed, and you watch to see what you do, now that you have perfect health. You have it immediately. Then – in other words – you wanted perfect health so that you could walk, and play, and be with people, or whatever. So you do that in your phantasy. Then you use this perfect health in your phantasy.

Step 4

Then comes the fourth step. Your partner will ask you, what is the payoff, now that you have perfect health? What do you have now that you didn’t have before?

Example: Now you are able to take your thoughts and change them into reality, in exactly the way you want to. We are going to call this the hidden desire. What you really want is to be able to be productive. But you can’t be productive if you have poor health. So what you really want is to be productive.

Repeat

And then we start over. Example: You are now thirty three, and your partner is talking to you and asking, when was the first time that you had this desire to be productive? How old were you? You were sixteen, in junior high school. Now describe in just a couple of sentences what was happening. You want to be productive so that you can be successful, and in addition to that, you have these other things that you want to do. So now we do the same thing: You are a junior in high school, and you want to be productive. Are you in any particular place in high school? Were you at home, or are you at school? You were at home. And now the fairy godmother comes again and says, “Richard, I hear what you want. You want to be productive. I’m going to tap you on the head, and that wish will be fulfilled.” Now you live that fantasy of being productive.

Payoff

After this, we would look for the payoff and ask, “how would your life change now that you are productive?”. And you will say, “Well, now I’m Vice President of the student council.” Maybe you are more popular, and you are recognized. We would then choose one of those statements that seems to be the strongest. Maybe it’s recognition. Then we would say that being recognized is the hidden desire in this step. What you really wanted was to be recognized, but you figured out that you have to be productive in order to be recognized. Can you remember the first time you had the desire to be recognized? This one may go way back, maybe to first grade.

Desires are a concern about survival

But can you see where we are headed? You are going to keep going until you get to your worry about survival. You will find that behind your desire is a worry about survival. I don’t want to tell you where you will end up, but if you keep going back, that’s where you will end up.

Everybody is going to end up in the same place. It doesn’t matter if you do five hundred desires. You are going to end up in the same place each time. If we were to diagram this, here’s the original concern about not surviving. Then you start with your strategies out here, way out here, and you say, “I want to have perfect health.” Then you trace it back and you come to this point. If you have another one, for example, “I want my bookkeeping to always be clean and neat, and I don’t have to worry about it.” Trace it back, and you are going to come right back to the same place.

When you see that, when you start to see that your desires are all a concern about survival, then you have to ask yourself, “Is that really relevant now? Do you think that you need to be worried about your survival?” When you get that, you begin realizing that this whole computer the size of the state of Texas, a hundred stories high, is only concerned with one single obsession, which is survival. Because at one time, when you were an infant, you were helpless. And since you are not helpless any more, all those programs in your computer are irrelevant. This doesn’t mean that you now throw them all out, but that they are irrelevant. Because they are all based on fear.

The war is over

As soon as you begin to see that every thought is a worry about survival, you also begin seeing that your thoughts are just superfluous. Thoughts are just not necessary, they are not helping you. Once you get that, it is easier to drop them, to let go of them, and to be in the now. Some people get it very quickly, and some people get it consciously but have to struggle with it for a while. Yet when you do get it, like when you are in meditation and thoughts come up – if you know that those thoughts are just worries about survival, and in reality you are just sitting here, and your survival is not in danger – you don’t have to get involved. They are just irrelevant thoughts.

It is as if you were engaged in a war, and the war ends. Somebody comes along discussing old plans, old strategies that you were going to use in the war. What is the point to discuss it? The war is over. Once you get the irrelevancy of thoughts, you can let go of them very easily.

There is only one issue

As soon as you begin seeing this, you’ll also notice that you are not working on separate issues. There is only one issue. You have simplified everything. Thoughts may appear as a worry, or a desire, or a fear, but they are all essentially a worry about survival.

Then the question must be asked: Is this worry justified in the now? Because sometimes it might be. But it seldom is, very seldom. When you understand this, you can begin passing it along to your subconscious. When your subconscious gets it, then you are really sailing home. Then all of those things take on a totally different quality. And you can begin focusing on the now.

Does anyone have any questions so far?

Question: What do we do after the fourth step of the trapdoor technique?

Jeru: You are clear that what we do is go through these four steps to the hidden desire, and then we start all over again, moving backwards in time. What is kind of tricky sometimes, is how to actually end it. You will be surprised that many people get back to birth with this technique. Once you get back to birth, it’s best to forget the technique and let the person be in that space. If it’s a positive space, then let them hang out in that. If it’s not a positive space, you can ask them – if they want to change it – to bring in the fairy godmother and change it.

Sometimes it is good for people to experience the negativity of their birth experience. I would like to leave that open. It’s one that you play by ear, but leave it mostly up to the person that is in the process. Trust their intelligence, trust that they somehow know what would be good for them.

The idea is to give people an opportunity to actually experience their memories of helplessness, and worries about survival that are the source of all their present-day desires.

Question: “What about the desire to wake up?”

Jeru: Well, that’s okay. But it would be good for you to know that your desire to wake up is also a worry about survival. If you worry too much about waking up, you are worrying about survival. All you really need to do to be awake is to just be in the moment. You see, that’s the point. You can work at it, and work at it, and not get anyplace. All you really need to do is be in the moment, and you have achieved that.

The “Now Experience”

Question: “Should you assist the regressed partner to come back to experiencing the present moment, after a while?”

Jeru: Yes, that is a very good thing to do. Every time we do a regression, we follow it up with the ‘now experience.’ Whether it’s intuitive dialogue, which is part regression and part now, or whether you just go out in nature and be in the now. It’s important that you do follow it up, otherwise you could get stuck in that space. It is very important that you balance every regression that you do, with yourself or with other people, that you balance it out with reality. Otherwise they are going to leave your session regressed. That doesn’t need to happen, and it doesn’t serve them very well. And even if it’s only a few minutes of saying, “Tell me what colors you see in the room, tell me what square things you see in the room, do you see any triangles?” Anything to get them out of the regression and into the now…

The following talk by Jeru Kabbal was recorded live and is part of a The Clarity Process training offered by the APT Institute.

I would like to speak this morning about the nature of memory, how it happens, and what kind of role it plays in our life. I’m sure you have the feeling that you know what memory is, and I’m sure that’s correct. But we need to look at it a little more deeply. First, it’s important to know that you take something like a photograph of everything that you experience. We don’t even know yet when that process starts. With some people it definitely starts in the womb, with some people it seems to begin as birth begins. If you have an experience, you record it. It’s like taking a picture.

Everything gets recorded

Some pictures are more traumatic, fearful, etc. and others are more bland and less interesting. But everything gets recorded. As you go through life, recording everything that happens to you, you create quite a collection of impressions. Almost like your own museum, with thousands and thousands, maybe even millions of photographs. Of course some of those pictures will be more important than others. One thing that is important to remember is that the subconscious can’t tell the difference between these photographs and life. This means that the subconscious is experiencing and re-experiencing and re-experiencing these old photographs. They are photographs, that they are put together like a home video. You have different scenes from your home video running all the time. It’s like one of these cinemas that we have today that has ten screens – if you want to, you can see a comedy, you can see a tragedy, you can see a love story, or whatever. You have the same thing going on in your head, only with a lot more screens. If somebody says, “I don’t like the way you did that,” then movie #2 comes up. If someone says, “Your hair looks nice,” then movie #45 comes up. Those movies are constantly running. And remember, the subconscious believes in them. Remember also, the relationship that the subconscious has to these movies is one of familiarity. To the subconscious, these movies actually feel more real than life does. It means that we are dealing with the same things, again and again and again, and almost never dealing with life. We project these movies onto life, and think that we are experiencing life. But really we are experiencing the movies still again. It’s for that reason that we are quite predictable. We don’t expect to change, because we don’t change as long as those movies are there, and as long as we believe that they are real. It’s amazing that we don’t get more bored with them, because they are so predictable, so monotonous. Yet because the subconscious thinks that they are real, we accept that and think that it’s life.

This is not life

If you are interested in transformation this is one of the most important things you can learn. You have to free yourself from your movies. First you have to recognize them, you have to recognize that this is a movie, this is not life. And then you’ll learn how to get out of the movie, how to convince the subconscious that this movie is no longer relevant. The first big thing is to recognize how powerful memory is. It is powerful because the subconscious believes it’s real. That is the situation. Most of us have given our lives over to our subconscious. We allow the subconscious to tell us what we are afraid of, to tell us what we like, what we can do, what we can’t do. We allow the subconscious to tell us what the world is like, what we are like in the world, and so forth. We have to take our life back from the subconscious. Because these movies are not relevant. They can be useful sometimes, but they are not really relevant any longer, because most of these movies, the really important ones, are movies of birth, and movies of our infancy. Yet the truth is we are not a newborn baby anymore. We are not an infant anymore.

The fear of an infant

Even though we made decisions at that time, those decisions are not relevant any longer, because we are not a helpless infant anymore. Most of our programs or strategies are all based on this fear of the infant. We will go into more detail on that later. Right now I want you to realize that who you think you are is coming from memory. What you think life is, is coming from memory. It’s not coming from your experience right now. You limit yourself because of memory, you hold yourself back because of memory, not because there are restraints on you today. This is one of the first things that we have to learn to ask: Am I feeling the way I am feeling right now because of memory, or because of reality? If you are feeling a certain way because of reality, then that’s justified. Then you want to do something appropriate, if anything needs to be done. Memory is not reality. It seems to be real to the subconscious, but it is an artificial reality, just like any movie is. You know that if you go to a movie, and there is a lot of action, if you would go up to the screen and look at it more closely, you would realize that it’s just a flat surface with light flickering on it. There are no people there, and what you see is not real. And even though you may sit in the audience and cry a genuine tear, even though your tear is genuine, it doesn’t prove there is something real happening on the screen, not at all. So don’t make that mistake. I say this because I hear people doing precisely that. They say, “Well, I’m feeling this, so therefore it’s real.” What you are feeling is real, but the cause of it is not. That’s the big difference. You are going to free yourself up, once you can free yourself from memory. This is the secret. If you are still looking at life through the eyes of memory, you will always be a victim of your own memory. There’s no way to get around it.

Memory can be useful

I don’t mean to imply that memory is useless. It needs to be put in context. If you have a calendar hanging on the wall that says May, you realize that the piece of paper hanging on the wall is not May, it’s just a piece of paper hanging on the wall that makes you think better, or in a more organized way. But it’s not May. It’s just a piece of paper. It is a form of memory, in a sense. So we can use memory. As a matter of fact, we would be lost without memory. We speak English through the process of memory; there’s no need to give that up. You drive a car through the process of memory, no need to give that up. But put memory into context. See that your memory comes from something like a computer, and some of the memories will be useful and helpful, and some of them will actually be harmful. You have to be able to see the difference. As I said earlier, we have turned our lives over to the subconscious, which means that we have turned our lives over to this computer. If we want to transform ourselves, if we truly want to be free, we have to free ourselves from the computer, and begin using the computer instead of the computer using us. It’s that simple. For now, be aware that you have all these photographs that you have taken. You have put them together in something like a series of home videos. Now the subconscious is looking at these all the time, and reacting to them.

The movie is familiar

If someone says hello to you, then a certain movie starts, and you automatically do what the subconscious wants you to do. You act shy, you act happy, but whatever it is, it’s all predictable, totally predictable. If you have element A, B, C and D, then you have enough elements to be absolutely and totally predictable, and you are most of the time. Not that you like it, but you are. You feel comfortable with that because it’s familiar. That is one of the biggest problems we have in transformation – this feeling that it’s comfortable, because we know it. We know the movie, we know how to handle it, we know what to do about it, we are comfortable with it. Even if we hate it, we are still comfortable with it. So we tend to let it continue to dominate us. One of the first things you are going to have to do is convince the subconscious of this process that I just mentioned. That when something happens to you, you take a photograph of it, but the photograph is not the event. Let’s say that this is a little camera, and I take a picture of Robert. The moment I go “click,” there is an image that is frozen on the film, and that image is not going to change. If this were a polaroid, I would have the picture in a matter of minutes.

Pictures last forever

I can enclose that picture in plastic, and it will probably last a thousand years. That picture will never change, not one bit. That image is going to stay fixed. In the meantime, Robert will be going through all kinds of other processes. Yet here I am with this picture. People think that the picture is the same as that which is pictured, but it isn’t. This picture is not Robert, it’s a piece of paper. It is not Robert, it never was Robert, and it will not become Robert. This is something absolutely, totally separate from the event that I photographed, or the object, which is Robert. Do you get that? This is an important point. Memory is never that which happened. You don’t even know if the memory is accurate. Memory is something separate from that which happens. As you let go of memory, you are only letting go of a document. The experience itself that you photographed ended the moment you went “snap” with the camera. A minute later, Robert is a different person. His heart has been beating a certain number of times, he has breathed a certain number of times, his cells have changed, his digestion has moved, all kinds of things have happened. Life is a flow. It is always flowing.

The picture never changes

Memory is stagnant, and is always stagnant. It doesn’t matter if it looks like a movie, it is still stagnant, and it is dead, absolutely dead. So that’s a very, very important distinction that we have to make: that your memory is nothing precious. It can be useful, but it’s nothing holy. If someone hits you when you are a child, and you take a photograph of that, your subconscious can feel that you are being hit all the time, because that photograph is there all the time, and the subconscious is looking at it all the time. Yet the photograph was never, ever the experience of being hit. You are kidding yourself if you think that the photograph of being hit is the experience of being hit, because it isn’t. The experience of being hit ends when you getting hit ends. If you had the ability to do the wisest thing you could do, you would drop this memory. Yet the subconscious doesn’t do that, the subconscious looks at that photograph again and again, lives in it, thinks it’s happening all the time, and reacts correspondingly, either with fear, or with anger, or mistrust, or whatever. We have to be aware of that. What happens often, especially in childhood, is that we take a picture, and we can’t handle it. So we repress the memory. That means we push it down deeper into the subconscious, with the idea that if I push it down deeper, it won’t affect me, and I don’t have to deal with it. Unfortunately, just the opposite is true. If you push something down, when you repress it, you keep it in cold storage, you keep it alive. You are not so aware of it, but it’s poisoning you at the subconscious level.

We didn’t really want little Johnny

When I talk about this, I am reminded of a session I did with a man some years ago, who had trouble relating to women, relating to men – he really had a lot of trouble. We did some regression work, and found out that when he was about four, he was playing in the backyard. His mother was also in the backyard leaning over the fence talking to the neighbor. And she was saying to the neighbor, “Well, we didn’t really want little Johnny.” And that’s all it took. Little Johnny heard that and took off. Of course she went on to say, undoubtably, “But, you know, when he came along we were happy about it – but in the beginning we didn’t really want him.” Little Johnny only heard, “I’m not wanted.” And from that moment on, he couldn’t trust his mother. It didn’t matter what she said. He couldn’t trust his father. He felt totally alone in the world, totally lost, and was just kind of making it through. Not being relaxed, not feeling loved, not being at home. If his parents would say, “You know, we really love you,” he would think, “Oh, they are lying again.” And he repressed that memory because he couldn’t handle it. What is a four year old going to do when he finds out that his parents don’t want him? He can’t pack his bags and go down to the airport, and go to Florida. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t even go next door. He can only repress it. That’s the only thing he can do, pretend it didn’t happen. And yet, he knew it did happen.

Repressed Memories

We are all carrying repressed memories. The easiest way to get rid of repressed memories is to realize that they are dead, that they are harmless, that they are just pictures. But the subconscious is not going to agree with that so quickly, because the subconscious has lived with these repressed memories, and your whole life has been built around them. Yet if you can convince the subconscious that these things are dead, that they are no longer relevant, you are going to find that these old repressed memories will start bubbling up with no effort. The only reason they are down there now is because you are using a tremendous amount of energy to push them down. When you stop pushing them down, they’re going to start bubbling up. That’s the nature of memory. And the moment they bubble up, and open up to the sun and the air, and to your objective perception, they disappear. Because they have no strength, they have no energy. People will talk about memories and say, “Oh, that’s a strong one.” In truth they are all equally dead. If you were to look at one of those big reels film that’s used in a movie, and you have a film canister that has a comedy in it, and right next to it you have a canister that has a horror movie in it… if you put your hands over each of those canisters, you’re not going to feel any difference in energy. If you should burn both of them, they’re going to have the same amount of energy, because it’s just dead film. But when light is projected through those films, and projected onto the screen, then you allow yourself the illusion that these things are real, the illusion that people are moving, the illusion that someone loves someone, someone hates someone, someone kills someone. Yet it’s all illusion. The film itself has no energy.

Memory has no energy

Your memory itself has no energy. You take energy from each moment to make it feel like it has energy. But the reality is, it has no energy. If you let go of the memory, it just becomes a useless thing, like a dry leaf blowing in the air. It is very important to see the un-reality of your memories. If you think memories are real, especially if your subconscious continues to think that they’re real, you will be struggling and struggling. If you can begin to see that what you think is a dragon in your life, is in reality just an illusion, then you don’t have to fight with the dragon. If you believe in the illusion, then you are going to have to do something about the dragon. Many people get to be pretty good dragon slayers, but it’s an endless job. The best way is to realize that what you think is the dragon in your life is just an illusion. And then let go of it. Then there’s nothing left to do. You are saving your energy. We want to learn to recognize memory as separate from reality. Because memories are not reality. Once we recognize that this is memory, we are going to need to work with the subconscious to also convince the subconscious that it is memory.

The Subconscious needs convincing

There are always two parts to this work. First we have to get it consciously, intellectually, and then we have to convince the subconscious. Some people make a tremendously big mistake in thinking that when they have an insight – when their conscious mind has an insight – that their whole being has that insight. But that’s not true. The subconscious needs to be convinced, because it’s a totally different animal. It can have ideas and opinions that are exactly the opposite of yours. We have to remember that this is another important step that needs to be taken. When you have an insight, you want to pass it along to your subconscious. Just because you have an insight, don’t think that the job is finished – if anything, it’s just beginning. At best it’s a very good place to start, but it’s just a start. You still have to go into this computer and tell the computer to remove that program, because it’s no longer relevant. And the computer is going to say, “Hey, what are you talking about? We’ve been using this all of our life, and I’m not going to let go of this program. I’m not programmed to let go of this program.” Therefore you have to keep working with the computer until you can convince it that the program is not relevant. Then you can remove the program and move along.

If you just go in for a moment, and see how much you understand and agree with what I’ve said so far, this means that your conscious mind is evaluating what I’ve said, but it doesn’t say anything at all about your subconscious. That’s another issue that we’ll get to a bit later. Now, what questions does your conscious mind have about what I’ve said so far?

Question: “How about the emotional experiences attached to memories?”

Jeru: “That’s a very important question. There are some people who are on the path who consider emotions divine. They are convinced that if you have emotions, that means you are alive. If you have emotions, that means you are not repressing. Yet the emotions are simply an outgrowth of thought. If you don’t have thoughts, you are not going to have the same emotions. Your emotions are reactions to what you think is happening. As I said about sitting in the movie theatre and crying a real tear: Even though nothing is happening, these actors and actresses are getting paid sixteen million dollars to have their eyes water in front of the camera to pretend that they are sad. Then you cry a real tear, and your tear is real, but the cause of it is definitely not real. This can happen when you have an emotion: You go through certain chemical changes, your heart can beat slower, or faster, and all kinds of things can be happening chemically. But the real question is: What’s causing this? Is it because my subconscious is at the movies, and believing something is happening which actually isn’t happening, or is this coming from the present moment? That’s a question you have to ask yourself each time. You are going to find that most of the time it’s coming from memory.

Question: “And then we project our memories onto real people..”

Jeru: “Yes, exactly. If you didn’t trust your mother, if you hated your mother, then you probably hate all women, and you go through it every day, you repeat it every day. If a clerk or someone says something to you crossways, and it’s a female clerk, you hate her again, even though nothing much really happened. It can be that the memory of hating your mother is repressed, and it can be that it’s something that you go through all the time. Either one is possible. The point is, it’s coming from the past. It’s coming from memory. And this is another point I would like to make. We talk about the past, and we talk about memory as coming from the past, but you need to know – and I’m sure you’ve heard this – but you also need to get at a very deep level that there is no past. Memory is happening in the present, because these photographs exist now. In our culture we live with so many myths. We think we are intelligent, yet so much of our life is based on myth. One of the myths is that there is a past. I know that not one of you have ever seen a past, I know that. You have never experienced anything in the past. You have never taken a breath in the past. You have never taken a step in the past. Everything you have ever done has been in the present, because that’s all there is. And it’s the same thing with the future. We have a folk saying that says, “the future never comes,” or “tomorrow never comes.” That’s true. There is no future. It is very, very important to get this. It’s a myth that is so deeply engrained, that most people can’t get it. But the proof is there – all you have to do is look at the proof. Memory only exists in the present, as does everything. It’s like this building, it exists in the present. The fact that it was built in a present thirty years ago is irrelevant; it exists now in the present. When you get that, you will realize that it’s more important to experience life in the present. Because if you are trying to experience it in the past or in the future, you are missing that which is real. That’s a tough one to get intellectually, and also a tough one to get at the subconscious level. You have to experience and learn to trust the now. When you can trust the now, then you are not so concerned about the so-called past, or the so-called future.

Question: “What about working with victims of sexual abuse, for example, incest victims?”

Jeru: “If you are working with somebody, or talking to someone who has a memory of incest, it will seem a bit disrespectful in the beginning, but you have to help her see that she is reacting to a photograph, to something that maybe never happened. Now she has a choice – to live her life focused on this photograph, or to realize that the photograph never was the act, that the act itself has disappeared. She is, in the meantime, a strong and capable adult. Now all of the wonders and the mysteries of the now, and of Existence, are available to her. She doesn’t need to be scarred at all. The scars are just memory. In a case like this, it is not so easy to tell somebody. You probably can’t just tell them that. You would have to take them through a slow process where they can digest this step by step. I think it’s one of the greatest tragedies of our current times, that this whole idea of child abuse and incest is such a sickness. Because people who dwell in that are sick. They are dwelling on something that is totally and absolutely artificial. Whether it happened or not doesn’t matter, because they are not reacting to what happened, they are reacting to the photographs. Then again, we don’t even know if the photographs are accurate. There are so many things that we don’t know yet about the mind, even the subconscious. If we were to open up the body to look for the subconscious, we would not find anything. And yet we definitely have one, no question about that. It’s hard to generalize, because everybody has such a different experience of life. Yet do be open to the idea, to the possibility, that you could release these memories from the mind. Again, the secret will be that if you can convince the mind or the subconscious that these memories are harmless, that they are not alive, that they are dead, then they will just start bubbling up on their own. You will release memories without even knowing it, things that were maybe very heavy for you. They will just disappear, because they have no energy. We are pumping energy into them because we believe in them, and they scare us. But once you get the point that only this moment is real, that something that happened when you were four, or two, or one is not happening now, then life becomes very simple, because all you have to deal with is now. It is so much easier than trying to deal with your whole so-called past, and your whole so-called future. That’s a heavy load compared to just being in the now. My experience is that in the beginning, people still believe in the pictures, even though they are releasing them. In that sense, crying can be satisfying. You will also get to the point when you look at these things that used to be so horrendous, and say, “It’s just like the newspaper from last year, it’s nothing.” Most traumatic memories can be released. It can be a true release. You are not crying, you are not regretting. You see it’s just irrelevant. It’s like it happened to somebody else, like it’s a past life. All of your memory is a past life. If it’s not happening right now, it’s not this life.

Question: “So waking up is about recognizing memories as just memories, not as reality, and about focusing on being in the now…is that IT?”

Jeru: “Well, at least that’s what you would want. I wouldn’t say that’s IT, nevertheless it will expand your life about a thousand fold. It will be more than you can handle at first. Being in the now will be like some people’s drug experience, it will be so full that you can’t even believe it. I’ve had people tell me, “Oh, I tried that once, being in the now, and it was boring.” This statement means that they weren’t really in the now. Notice that it does not mean that you give up memory. It doesn’t mean that you burn all of your photographs. Being in the now means that you are not affected by them. You can use them, and you can make your judgments based on memories, but your photographs don’t fill you with fear and apprehension, and keep you confined to them.

Question: “Letting go of the past and focusing on the present seems so simple..and yet it seems to take great courage to even consider it.”

Jeru: “It’s a matter of trusting Existence. And this is what is so satisfying, because it’s like coming home. You can say, “Oh, I can let go now,” knowing that you are going to be taken care of. It’s just like how our hearts beat from the time of conception, or at least from sometime in the womb, and just keep beating until we are finished. We don’t ever think about that, we don’t realize how absolutely vital the heartbeat is to our life, and yet the heart goes on pumping day and night, regardless of what we are going through. We trust it so completely, we don’t even think to trust it. We don’t think to be grateful for it. We don’t wake up in the morning and say, “Thank you, heart. You’ve been very efficient and very diligent and energetic, and you’ve been pumping all night long, and I thank you for that.” We don’t do that. And we take Existence for granted in the same way. But if we can start to see how much we are taken care of, just the way Existence beats our heart, then we can start to relax. We begin feeling at home. But this can only happen when we are in the now. For a lot of people, memory is like living in a nightmare. I wouldn’t say it’s that way for everyone, but it is more or less true for most people. Because the major part of the movie, and of memory, is being helpless, being dependent, being inadequate. That’s not very pleasant, that’s not a lot of fun. To be totally dependent, totally inadequate, totally helpless – that’s a real drag. Even if we have the most loving parents in the world. Do most of you feel like you understand these main principles that I just mentioned? That memory is basically dead, that it’s an artificial kind of reality that has no real energy of it’s own. That memory is not the event, never was, and never will be. That the subconscious, in spite of this, believes that these movies, these home videos, these photographs are really happening right now. Now we have to help the subconscious to see that these memories are not happening.

Today we want to crystallize some things that we have been looking at, and pull them together into one simple idea. You have been doing regression work, and you have been seeing how much of who you are today is really a memory of who you used to be. We have been working on it in different ways, looking at different parts of it, and today we want to see if we can pull it together.

You are beginning to see how much you have a dream going on at the subconscious level, and you become aware of how much you project this dream onto reality. And probably your feeling is that you project that dream onto reality from time to time. But today I would like for us to see that we are projecting this dream constantly, that we are always living in this dream.

At this stage in our life, we experience almost nothing new. You can meet new people, you can go to new places, but you are projecting onto those new people and new places old people and old places. You very seldom experience anything with innocence. You respond to situations the way you have responded in the past, so that it is almost impossible for you to be spontaneous.

What we are going to do today, is to start working with a technique that we call intuitive regression, in which we start with an experience from the moment, from the present, and actually trace it back to a memory of something from our childhood. This implies – as you are going to see as you work on this technique – that the emotions we experience most of the time are actually coming from the past, not from the present. So there is no reason to get tied up in the emotions, if they are not even coming from today, but rather coming from a time that is past.

As we look at these emotions more and more, we are going to see that all of these emotions coming from childhood are actually fear. This may sound strange to you, because you know that there are moments when it is not fear. But it’s fear and the lack of fear. That may sound like a strange way to define it, but it’s like how all colors relate to white, to light. You shine a white light, a clear light, through a prism, and that prism breaks that light up into the different colors, the colors of the rainbow. If you turn the light off, then you have darkness, or blackness. So you can say that all colors are a variation of white. And in the same way, we can say that all emotions are a variation of fear, fear of one kind or another, efforts to avoid fear, success in that avoidance. But if you look at things, you are going to find that they all boil down to the same thing, and that is worry about survival.

Therefore we are going to encourage you to learn to be open to the fact that every time you get angry, you should find out how old you are at that moment. What age do you feel like you are? When you are feeling sad, find out how old you are. You will find out that you are in a memory. When you are feeling frustrated, find out how old you are, and you will find out that you are in a memory.

All day long you are flickering back and forth, from one memory to another. One moment you are three years old, one moment you are three months old, the next moment you are six months old, the next moment you are four years old, the next moment you are at birth, and back and forth. You are a victim of your own movies, unless you start to watch these things. And once you start becoming aware of the fact that this old dream is there, and that you are constantly projecting it onto the present, then it makes it much easier for you to watch, because you are going to be less involved, less identified.

The result of this is that you start wondering who you are. If everything that you are experiencing is a memory, then you wonder who the person would be if the memory wasn’t there. And this is the beginning of the spiritual search, to find out who you really are. This will leave you with a question mark. Perhaps it can’t be answered, perhaps it won’t be answered. Yet this will be a path to truth.

As you start to use this approach, something else will become apparent to you. And that is that a certain emotion is present before there is a reason for it to be present. The closest example of this is when you wake up in the morning, and you are feeling let’s say defeated – you just feel defeated. And you have just gotten up, so it’s not really the world that is making you feel defeated, but you feel defeated somehow. Maybe you are aware of it, maybe you are not aware of it. Then, after feeling defeated, your logical mind says, “Well, there must be a reason why I feel so defeated.” And then you look around. “Well, I’m not getting anyplace at my job,” or “My relationship isn’t what I want it to be,” or “I’m not earning enough money,” or “I don’t have enough freedom.” But first, defeat is there. And then you find the reason for it – which will be the real reason, of course. But you will have to lay it on something, you will have to project it onto something. And of course, being logical, you will try to project it onto something in the present. Unless you have worked a bit on yourself, you will never assume that it might be a memory from birth.

You are going to notice that the feelings will be there first, and then you will find a reason for them, to justify the feelings from the present moment. Once you start seeing that the feelings are actually coming from memories, you are also going to see that the present moment is not threatening, is not producing tension, is not producing these negative feelings. You will just start watching the movie, and identifying with it less and less.

As you start noticing that all day long you are living in a kind of regressed state, this doesn’t mean that you have to work with all of these things. Just watch. We will start out working with these memories – we will trace a feeling back to its roots. We will do this quite a few times, so that you start to recognize in your gut that this is true, that these feelings are coming from memories. But after you have done this a few times, it becomes less and less necessary to trace each thing back in that manner. Because you will know after a while that it is coming from the past.

As you watch this drama that is happening at the subconscious level, projecting itself onto the present, you will become more and more the watcher. It will be an interesting movie that you watch, just like you watch any other movie. Or you start watching yourself just the way you would watch someone else.

It doesn’t mean that you have to work constantly at reprogramming or deprogramming. In the beginning, this is important. And in the beginning we will be doing this, we will be doing deprogramming, and sometimes reprogramming. But this is mainly so that your computer starts to understand that it is possible, and that the old movies are actually harmless. As you watch your own dream, or your own movie, more and more, it will become less and less necessary to work each thing through back to the roots, because you will already know what is going to happen. And just the awareness of that will start being enough after a while.

Be very careful and very aware, as aware as you can be, when you notice yourself having a strong emotion. It doesn’t have to be negative; it can also be a positive emotion. When you have a strong emotion, use the pendulum and ask yourself, “How old am I right now?” or, “How old am I feeling?” And you just do this again and again during the day, and you are going to start seeing how much you are in memory, rather than the present.

This may sound very, very strange. It only sounds strange because everybody lives in the dream, and so it seems normal. And everybody in the dream is dreaming that they are awake and in the present. So then to hear that everyone is dreaming seems contradictory, because everyone has been dreaming that they are awake. When you start seeing how much you are coming from memory, you are also going to start becoming more and more quiet. And you are also going to start becoming more and more joyful. Because you will be more and more in the moment. And you are going to find that the moment is not creating much sadness, the moment is not creating anger, the moment is not creating frustration, the moment is not creating fear, the moment is not creating greed, the moment is not creating jealousy.

All of these things are coming from memory, from memories of a time when we were helpless. And this is the key. All of these feelings are feelings of helplessness and dependency, or as I said before, feelings of fear – fear of not surviving, due to the fact that we were all born in a helpless body. So as we start tracing these things back, we are going to see that they are based on helplessness, on dependency, on fear of not surviving. And at the same time we are going to start seeing that these things are irrelevant. Not wrong, but irrelevant.

If you have ever worked on past lives, one of the most beautiful things about using past lives as a way to get clear, is that if something happened in a lifetime when you lived in 1810, you realize that there is nothing you can do now about that life. You are ready to drop it, because it’s gone. It’s irrelevant. You realize that it is irrelevant because you are now living in a different life. It is very easy to let go of things that come up during past life sessions, for that reason. Because you realize that there is nothing you can do about it. You hated your mother in that life – well, what to do? What can you do about it? That life is gone, you in that life is gone, your mother in that life is gone. There is nothing to do, it’s irrelevant now. You can let go of it.

The memory of your birth is just as past as a past life memory is. The you that existed at your birth doesn’t exist any longer. The mother that existed at your birth doesn’t exist any longer. The world that existed at your birth doesn’t exist any longer. So we also need to see that that too is irrelevant, memories of our birth are now irrelevant. Memories of this life are just as irrelevant, and as dead, and as past, as memories from a past life. If we can start seeing everything that is not this moment as a past life, it would be easier. See yesterday is a past life – it’s past. See last week as a past life. Don’t identify with it anymore. Say, “I don’t know who that guy was last week. That was a past life. What can I do about it?” Just let go of it.

We need to get into not identifying with that which has gone on before. We need to free ourselves from memories, and put them in their proper perspective, so that we can be available to this moment. As long as we are caught up in the dream, as long as we are dreaming, we are not available to reality. And as I said before, this dream is happening at the subconscious level, which we then project onto reality and onto the conscious level, so that we think we are awake.
But in reality we are dreaming. Of course we see the trees, we see the rain, but we project onto that rain memories of other rains. We project onto that rain attitudes from earlier times. We project onto that rain our desires and fears coming from earlier memories, older memories. We don’t really and truly experience the rain as it is, in an innocent way, but we experience the rain through past experiences.

We want to watch this. And as we watch this, we are going to find that we become more and more available to the present, and to people as they really are. You will also start seeing other people’s dreams. As you become aware that you are dreaming, you are also going to find it easier and easier to know what other people are dreaming. And this is helpful, because it helps you see that there is no need for you to be afraid of other people, because they are going through almost the same thing that you are going through – with different variations, but still basically the same. They are also worried about their survival. They are also feeling weak and helpless and dependent. It’s just that everyone has a different way to compensate for that.

Try to shift your thinking. Try to shift your way of looking at things. And be open to this dream that is happening at the subconscious level. Whenever anything strong happens to you during the day, or even something that’s not so strong, whenever you think of it, just ask yourself, using the pendulum, “How old are you right now?” And you are going to see how much you are coming from memory. And then you will see that these memories are irrelevant, and it’s okay to let go of them, and you are going to be more and more in the here and now.

Question: “I see myself being in a memory in the past a lot, and it was an incredible fear of being empty.”

Jeru: See that this fear of being empty is not coming from the here and now. It is also coming from a memory. And it is understandable. Let’s say that when you were born, they put some long underwear on you, and as you grow bigger, the long underwear gets more and more frazzled, and yet you are so attatched to it, you have lived with it so long, that you want to keep it. So while you are a child, and as you grow older and become an adult, you are totally identified with this. You are constantly patching it up, holding on to it, and even though it’s a mess, it’s dirty, it stinks, it’s uncomfortable, still you are so identified with it, that you think if you give it up, you will die. You have forgotten that it’s not you. You have forgotten that this piece was given to you, it was put on you. If someone says to you, “Well, your problem is just old, dirty long underwear,” a part of you is going to say, “Yes, but I can’t give that up. What will I be if I give that up? Who will I be if I give that up? What will happen to me if I give it up? I might disappear. Maybe it’s this long underwear that is keeping me together.”

This feeling is very natural, and very logical, and certainly very understandable. Yet you need to see where the feeling is actually coming from. It’s certainly not coming from truth. It’s not coming from reality. If somebody else were to give up their defenses, do you think they would literally disappear? But something in you thinks you might disappear. That’s the way it is.

Yet this is the way it is. We can see where it’s okay for other people to give up their old defense mechanisms, and that they won’t physically disappear if they do give them up. But our subconscious insists on feeling that if I do that, I will disappear, because who will I be if I give up my armor? What will be there if I give up the armor? Of course it’s also a very good question. But this is part of the fun, to find out who we will be when we give up the armor.

Once you start dropping the idea that, “I can’t take care of myself,” and you see that you are taking care of yourself. From this space of relaxation you are more able to look around you and see nature and Existence. Then when you do that, you will see that it’s very benevolent. You will see how the universe is supporting everything in it, including you. Then you start to trust more and more. You can start to trust that if you relax, somehow everything will be okay.

This can come from looking, from intelligent looking. Not convincing yourself of something, but just from intelligent looking. Recognizing that already existence is beating your heart, which is very important, more important than money in the bank. You can have money in the bank, and if your heart isn’t beating, it doesn’t do you a lot of good. If you look, you will see that Existence is breathing for you, even when you are asleep at night. It digests your food for you, it creates energy for you, it has given you intelligence. You start seeing how much Existence is already taking care of you.
Once you start seeing these facts, it’s easier to trust more and more, to relax more and more with what is. You can gradually let go of these defense mechanisms, realizing after a while that they are not helping you. These defense mechanisms are not helping you, they are actually hindering you. Holding on to them would be like trying to swim when you are wearing a heavy coat of armor on. Or like trying to dance and be beautiful and elegant, loaded down with eighty pounds of iron.

As we look at these things more and more, letting go gets easier. It’s not something you have to make an effort at. The only real effort required is awareness, just watching what is going on. That’s the only thing that really requires any kind of effort. Change can come just from watching.

Question: “What if you are addicted to excitement, and learn to see the silence that is slowly coming on everybody here. I walk into the dining room and everybody is silent. It makes me nervous. In other words, I like excitement. How do you be in the program?”

Jeru: Well, first trace this need for excitement back to its roots. That’s the most important thing. Where did you get the idea that you need excitement? You see, you need to find out how old you were, and what was going on then. You are going to find that in whatever was going on, a key element was your helplessness and your dependency at that time. Maybe you felt safest when there was something exciting going on in the family, because maybe that was the only time that there were people around you. Or that was the only time that someone was really there taking care of you, when there was excitement happening. There are all kinds of different reasons. But the important thing is for you to look at that yourself and find out what dream you are dreaming. Trying to deal with this at a rational, conscious level won’t work. It doesn’t help just to say, “I am addicted to excitement.” You have to find out why your system thinks you need excitement. There will be a good reason for it to be found in your infancy.

Question:“Do you start by asking what age you are, and then ask what is happening?”

Jeru: Well, that is the technique that we are going to show you today, the intuitive regression technique. You can use that anytime you feel that you need excitement in order to feel alive. There are a lot of people like this; this is quite common. It’s not so unusual at all. Simply find out how old you were when this idea got started, what the circumstances were, and why you felt it was necessary. Certainly you will find that it made good sense at that time. You will also find that the key elements that were present there no longer exist. Actually everything about that experience no longer exists. Even the world that it existed in doesn’t exist any longer, it’s a different world today.

Question: “I know this is my rational mind saying this, but it’s like I’m seeing it as zombies versus life.”

Jeru: You will just have to look back at what your experience was. I can imagine that that’s the way you see it. Look back at your own experience.

Artikel door Taetske Kleijn  verschenen in het tijdschrift InZicht, mei 2008

Artikel verschenen in InZicht september 2005

Dit artikel is gebaseerd op een lezing van Jeru Kabbal in het kader van een Clarity Process training.

Artikel verschenen in InZicht mei 2004.

Dit artikel is samengesteld door Taetske Kleijn uit diverse lezingen die Jeru Kabbal over dit onderwerp heeft gehouden tijdens Clarity Process workshops.

De onderstaande tekst is de vertaling van een Clarity Process lezing door Jeru Kabbal.

© Jeru Kabbal, januari 1996
Vertaling T.S. Kleijn

De onderstaande tekst is de vertaling van een Clarity Process lezing door Jeru Kabbal.

© Jeru Kabbal, januari 1996
Vertaling T.S. Kleijn